Unemployed Diva

So, it all fell down. Come and listen to lessons from the litter.

Until Monday, I was a tenured professor who taught a variety of law classes to undergraduates and MBA students at a small, nondenominational Christian liberal arts university in South Carolina. Let’s call it Pyrite University, since it turned out to be fool’s gold. Pyrite was founded nearly two centuries ago and that long lineage apparently made some folks think that it’d be fine, since it had come through the Civil War, both World Wars, the Great Depression and the Covid pandemic. While I am sure that I do not have all the facts – transparent communication was not the administration’s strong suit (it was barely a card in their deck!) – it’s safe to say that a host of bad decisions compounded by more bad decisions to cover up the first tranche of bad decisions eventually led to the house of cards falling down. (By the way, in a historic cemetery on the edge of campus are two fake headstones for Frank Underwood and his father – characters from the show House of Cards. Perhaps that should have tipped me off.) It’s been an exhausting three weeks as the president announced that Pyrite would close. Or maybe not, if we could raise $6 million in a week. Or maybe there was another source of funding. But here’s a termination letter, justincase. Nope, we’re walking that back, at least for faculty. The Board will make a decision. Hang on, in another week.

Finally, the hat ran out of rabbits. The Board met after business hours on April 29 and an email was sent out around 10 pm declaring that Pyrite would, in fact, close at the end of the spring semester – not even seven days from that meeting. Staff layoffs began the next morning, which was in the middle of final exams. As of today, the Board and the President have been content to ruin the lives of more than a thousand students and hundreds of employees via email. The faculty did the only thing we could, which was unanimously declare a vote of no confidence and pass a resolution calling for the mass resignation of the Board, the President, and the CFO, as well as disinviting them from the final commencement of Pyrite’s history. The President and Board have been so silent and absent as to warrant pictures on a milk carton, but they’ll likely get away with it, quite possibly with severances that the rest of us didn’t get. The Good Ol’ Boys will likely meet in third-rate country clubs, backslap each other, and sagely discuss what a “hard decision” it was and how “difficult” it was for them.

Perhaps it was. But it is hardly in keeping with the teachings of Christ (as I learned them, anyway) to turn us out in the street and to abandon our students without making a plan for how and where they can transfer. Not to mention the rippling harm the absence of Pyrite will do to the small town’s economy.

I’m learning how time-consuming it is to be suddenly unemployed. Pay stubs to collect, massive numbers of files to download or transfer, an office to quickly clear out, unemployment paperwork to fill out (and it is DETAILED!), resumes to update, cover letters to craft, LinkedIn to update, networks to refresh, and the lists go on and on. I can always tell when my mind is troubled – my lovely nest gets messy as I fall behind on the homecaring tasks that I usually stay on top of and sometimes even enjoy. I have piles upon piles and lists upon lists. I’m doing the best I can to put one foot in front of the other, but the sheer size of this upheaval makes it hard.

All is well with my soul, however. Justice comes for us all and I am trying to live the unforgettable line from Kurosawa’s magnificent 1952 masterpiece Ikiru – “I can’t afford to hate anyone. I don’t have that kind of time.” (Really, you should watch Ikiru. You really should.)

So what’s a Diva to do in these hard times?

You see, this is why you practice self-care – so that when the wolf comes to the door, you already know how to tame him. Your worth was never determined by your job – ever. But it’s unsettling to have that ground cut out from under you. So, yes, you need to do some very grounded, practical work here, but do not forget your joy in the midst of the ick and grime.

• Meet a friend for Blizzards. Whatever size you’re thinking about getting, go up one.
• Put your favorite “war babe” music on repeat – loudly. Doesn’t matter what it is – show tunes, rock, hip-hop, country, jazz standards from the Great American Songbook. If it makes you feel better, it’s right to play it.
• Drink some water.
• Take care of living things – water your plants, cuddle your pets.
• Don’t forget to eat, hopefully something with crunch.
• Try to carve out a little time for the hobbies that bring you pleasure – paint or hike or garden or dance.
• Read, but keep it light. (I’m in a serious 1920s cozy mystery phase.)
• Let your friends take care of you. This is no time to be self-sufficient.

Yes, it’s dark. Yes, what happened was unfair. Yes, it hurts to be betrayed.

But you’ve got important things to do in this world, Diva. Heal.

Then get to work.