I had several Good Things to discuss today – I took a lovely ramble through the woods and I saw strangers helping each other out with jumper cables, both of which are Good Things.
I also went to a Tenebrae service at the church I used to attend regularly – enough that I was a lay reader and member of the Altar Guild. But I’ve stopped going. Oh, there are all sorts of reasons, none of which have to do with that church. For a few years, I’ve been cloudy about the specifics of my faith and I’ve taken some time to work it out. I’ve just seen too many people who claim to be people of faith doing and saying horrible, unjust things and I got so weary of fighting that. For what it’s worth, I genuinely believe in the “words in red” and think most everything else is commentary that can be (and has been) twisted to justify things that are flat-out shameful. I find comfort and awe in nature and non-transactional kindness. And I believe that there are many, many Mysteries that we would all do well to ponder frequently. (And yes, I know plenty of folks have problems with the “red letter” crowd. I have decided to let them live as they see fit and expect them to extend the same courtesy to me.)
While I don’t have it all sorted (not by a long shot!), I am comfortable enough to attend the services that matter to me, and that includes Maundy Thursday (when the altar is ruthlessly stripped bare) and Good Friday (when the sanctuary grows darker and darker and there is no comfort to be had).
People were so very kind to me. I really just wanted to slip into a pew and have some serious “pondering” time, but the warm welcome was certainly appreciated. An older gentleman quietly slipped this little Easter basket next to me with a gentle smile and a “good to see you.” Will I make the sunrise service for Easter? Who knows? But I found comfort.
I feel more certain than ever that faith is meant to bring joy and comfort to people. And if yours is not doing that for you (and especially if it’s telling you that some people are less than others and are unworthy of Divine love), it’s perfectly fine to search out another.
Peace to you all.
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