It’s common for folks, even Diva-folks, to make resolutions to go with the turning of that final calendar page of the year. Now, overall, I don’t especially like New Year’s Resolutions (“NYR”). We tend to put too much pressure on ourselves, insisting that this will finally be the Year That We Get It All Together, so when we’re at a low point – worn out from celebrations, facing lean pocketbooks and the grey days of January – we decide that we need to make fundamental changes in our diets, exercise habits, financial goals, housekeeping standards, our attitude toward romance, and more! And all TODAY!
NYR are crazy-making, and Splendor isn’t here to make anyone crazy.
Instead, let me suggest – very gently – one thing. Answer this question – What are you looking for?
Today. Right now. What are you looking for?
Because I can tell you, from hard-won experience, the Bible has this one right. What ye seek, ye have a real tendency to find. But we tend to misremember that verse (Matthew 7:7, by the way), which actually reads, “Ask, and it will be given you. Seek, and you will find. Knock, and it will be opened for you.” (I get it; the Bible isn’t everyone’s guide. Solid advice in there, though. Stick with me on this point, okay?)
So, again I ask – What are you looking for? And, just as important, what are you asking for?
Divas, you have to look. And you have to ask. And knocking isn’t out of the question either. (But remember to ask politely. Don’t be That Woman. You know who I mean and no one likes her. She does not scatter joy. Don’t be her.)
Me, I’m spending the year looking for blessings that aren’t in disguise. At the end of each day, I take a few minutes and jot down the delights and lovely things that I noticed that day. Some days, it’s something very small, like using one of my mother’s teaspoons for my morning coffee. Some days, it’s being still enough that a cat decides my lap is a worthwhile place to spend ten minutes. Some days, it’s something very big, like getting a car to replace poor Kitty Convertible who gallantly met her end saving me when a careless driver slammed into me two months back. Regardless of size, when I look for those things, I always, always find them.
I also plan to spend this year asking for the things I need. A friend to meet me for coffee. An extra day on an unexpected project. Room to sigh instead of shout. A measure of grace in a day marked by frantic whirling. The courage to try something unexpected and new. I’ll warn you – asking is harder than looking. For so many of us, we’re trained from the time we’re tiny li’l things to Not Ask for Things, as if it’s impolite. Nonsense. And sometimes, it’s both “looking” and “asking,” like volunteering to chaperone a passel of college students on an end-of-year trip to the lush country of Belize and having the opportunity to explore the verdant rainforest and white sand beaches in the company of kind, energetic youngsters.
Look for the good. Ask for what you need. Knock until your knuckles are scraped raw. And be willing to accept the sort-of-scary, bewildering news that the Universe wants to give you Good Things.
Look. Ask. Knock. Expect. Give thanks.
There are worse ways to live.