The time will come in every Diva’s life into which a little rain must fall – a time where, no matter how good and rich and full the Diva’s life is, things just seem bleak and drudge-filled. What are you to do during these times?
Glad you asked! This might make my recent bout of the blues useful to someone else and I’d like SOMETHING useful to come out of that experience. (Although something positive already has – I learned [again] that it’s perfectly fine to ask for help and that there’s no need
First off, you must remember that your feelings are real and valid. I get it – compared to many on this planet, your problems might seem like blessings, but that’s no reason why you should minimize and brush aside your own feelings. I think for many of us, it’s all too common for us to do just that and in the doing, ignore our own needs to the point of wiping ourselves out. You feel sad, or blue, or unmotivated, or depressed – so have the courage to FEEL that.
Second, check to make sure these feelings are the “blues” as opposed to something more lasting and serious. The blues are NOT the same thing as clinical depression, which needs to be brought to the attention of a medical professional with haste. The blues may be characterized by feeling hopeless, overwrought, and sad-to-the-point-of-crying, but they don’t last long – and we’ve got a plan to chase them away even more quickly!
Third, pinpoint what you’ve got the blues ABOUT. Have you fallen back into the “saying yes” habit too much and feel overwhelmed by your commitments? Are you suffering from self-inflicted anxiety about the upcoming holidays? Are you feeling the nip of that nasty bitch, Perfectionism, at your heels? Are you having “a little from Column A, a little from Column B” heart-racing semi-madness? It’s all okay, Diva, just know what hobgoblin you’re fighting.
With those three steps completed, now you’re ready to tackle this.
If you’ve been working steadily on self-care, you’ve got a toolbox full of tools to use on these twisty days. You may need to investigate exactly WHICH tool to use, but you’ve got an arsenal. If you’re new to these ideas of self-care, you’re going to get a crash course here and start filling your toolbox. No one tool works for everyone in all circumstances, so be willing to try out several.
In one way or another, all of my tools seem to involve the senses. For instance . . .
I’ve got good-quality emergency chocolate stashed away, although my most recent bout had me going straight for brownie mix eaten from the bowl. Don’t sneer – it was a bad case of the “I miss my mom” holiday blues.
A hot bath can help.
So can a favorite old show – I’m partial to Archer for this, along with a nice dose of Firefly. Other report success with Grey’s Anatomy, Absolutely Fabulous, and other shows.
And, for all that’s good and holy in this life, wrap yourself in something warm and soothing, like a fleece sloth blanket.
Never underestimate the power of music to shift your mood. Want to have an 80s dance party in your sock feet in the kitchen? Pull the blinds shut, grab a hairbrush to sing into and go for it! (“Karma Chameleon” is excellent for this sort of thing, as is “Spin Me Round,” but you do you.)
If you feel the tears coming – and is anything much worse than that feeling of trying to hold tears back? – let them fall. Cry, Diva. Your grief matters and tears wash away dust from the soul. Cry, and don’t worry about how you look. Heaving, wracking sobs are sometimes the exact right reaction. Now blow your nose and wash your face.
Put on your absolute best perfume. You might not feel like it today, but soon you’ll want to go back outside – wear the perfume like armor to get yourself ready.
Drink water. Lots of water.
If you’re overwhelmed by house chores, do one thing – wash the sheets, run the dishwasher (twice, if necessary), fold the clothes in the dryer. Just. One. Thing. Do it badly, if necessary. If you’re overwhelmed by family obligations or work chores, give yourself the grace of a single day to sort things out. Honestly – things can wait one day. And you’ll be better equipped to handle the stressors with aplomb and steadiness.
Let yourself feel what you’re feeling.
You are, just as you are rightthissecond, enough.