At one time or another, it’s happened to all of us. We are in a place that simply no longer fits us, or we’ve given a place a solid try and discovered that it was never meant for us, or the party has just bored us to tears. It’s time to go, but a little voice that has been pushed into our inner monologues since girlhood tells us that “leaving would be impolite.”
Codswallop. As Divas, we know perfectly well that our presence is a gift and it is not to be squandered amongst those who do not delight in such a gift. So how do we gracefully exit a room?
To begin with, no matter how good it would feel in the moment, don’t be Bugs Bunny.
(That’s from 1946’s classic “Hair-Raising Hare,” by the way. It’s also the cartoon that introduces Gossamer the Monster.)
No, there’s no need to be rude and honestly – there’s no real reason to give an explanation at all. Divas keep their own counsel – we’ve worked very hard to learn to trust ourselves, our tastes, and our principles. At a party, simply stand up, gather your coat, say “good-bye” to your host with a smile, and leave. (For heaven’s sake, don’t linger at the doorway.) If you’ve outgrown a book club or some other social group, it’s best to not ghost anyone, but a brief email saying that you’ll no longer be attending will do. If anyone follows up with you in a way that seems intrusive, keep it short, sweet, and enigmatic – “I simply can’t” goes a long way. Your time is yours and the company you keep is of your choosing. (Besides, it’s often a good idea to cultivate a certain air of mystery.) And, of course, whomever you invite into your home is completely and totally your business and is not subject to discussion.
You owe it to yourself to be true to yourself. If you’re not comfortable, you need not ask permission to leave. If others think you’re =whatever= that’s their issue and not yours. You cannot spread joy in this world if you’re pretzeling yourself into a shape that does not suit you to make others feel comfortable.
Give them the opportunity to do some work on themselves and go forth to shine as you were meant to do.
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