Happy 2025, Divas! May it be a year of joy, beneficial work, and laughter for us all!
In the spirit of Janus, the Roman god of beginnings, I thought I’d kick off 2025 by both looking behind me and looking forward. I kept a super-short, decidedly non-picture-perfect journal in the last year and discovered that I liked it quite a bit. (Indulge in stickers. Trust me on this one.) That make it easy to look back over the year and see the events and people that/who brought me joy. In the last year, I:
- Donated blood for the first time in years
- Made “shrub,” which turns out to be really yummy fruit vinegar
- Did a “Polar Plunge”
- Made lopsided, but delicious, from-scratch macarons
- Said “yes” and wound up seeing concerts and having tea parties with poetry
- Spoke at a conference that was incredibly meaningful to me
- Continued to paint and made significant progress
- Raised money for hurricane relief in western NC
- Worked out with a longsword
- Started rethinking how I use social media
- Went Reverse Trick-or-Treating
- Started working with plant cuttings and gardening
(There’s more, but that is a List of 12, which seems like a very good number.)
And yet. I still felt as if I was playacting as I tried to increase the joy in my life and split off my “work” self from my “not work” self. This is, of course, a common struggle and I will continue to work on this aspect of existing in the contemporary world.
Strangely enough, it was a cup of coffee that got me started on my path for this new year. Specifically, a cup of coffee made almost entirely NOT the way I wanted it by a barista in a coffee shop that had run out of ingredients and had no way to froth milk. Listen carefully here, Divas, for you can learn from my errors.
Understand that one of my family’s mottoes (along with “Never pay retail!”) is “It almost works.” This has gotten us into trouble more than once as our preternatural ability to sniff out a deal results in us getting things that are patched, repaired, not-quite-square, or otherwise not exactly right – the “it’ll do” level of workability. So a coffee that wasn’t made as I wished often would have been No Big Deal – it almost works.
Something in me snapped. (Not at the barista. That would have been foolish and mean. The kid was doing her absolute best with what she had to work with.) But I had just paid Coffee House Prices for something that didn’t look right, didn’t taste right, and wasn’t what I wanted. That’s on me. And – truth be told – I went back there about two weeks later and had the same experience with hot chocolate, just in case the lesson needed to be drummed into my consciousness (which it apparently did).
No more. From now on, I will say, “I’m afraid that just won’t do” and walk away. My word for this coming year is “Bloom” and I intend to do just that, in all aspects of my life. If it’s not what I want, I give myself permission to not take it – and I hope you do, too.
I started a few days ago by shopping with friends for things that actually fit me and then ruthlessly weeding out my closet. (Give yourself several days on this.) Yesterday, the local Hospice Store (my chosen charity; I’m sure you can find your favorite) received shoes, jackets, pants, tops, sunglasses (not needed since I gave up contacts), purses, and more. Mind you, it can be hard to overcome the “but I paid X for this!” and “if I just lose X pounds, this will work.” Forget it. Thank the clothes for their service to you and get it all out of the house. (I don’t have the energy to re-sell and I feel strongly that making room for amazing things at amazing prices leads the Universe to think kindly of me.) I was briefly sad at how many things I had kept for so long that don’t fit me – to me, it was a clear sign that I wasn’t accepting myself as I am. I am rough on myself and load myself up with the “I shoulds” far too often.
While I do have clear goals for the next year – including watching all of Wes Anderson’s movies and wearing dashing hats regularly, as well as actually eating three meals a day instead of “grabbing a quick snack to tide me over,” I also want to be kind to myself. My body – which is soft and comforting – has come through physical and emotional trauma and needed kindness to heal. With the help of my Beloved and my incredible circle of understanding friends, I am well on my way to Wholeness, albeit with some scars.
This is the Year to Bloom.
Join me, Divas!
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