And a Merry Halloween to you all!
It’s a holiday I love, but this year has been a strange one. I have some decorations up in the house, but I didn’t really get into a costume or a full-scale party or doing much for the little trick-or-treaters. There’s a cauldron of candy outside the front door, but I haven’t even painted on mascara cat-whiskers to answer the door.
And that’s okay!
Looking over my journal, it seems that so much of my self-care this month has been about boundaries – frustrated that I have allowed people to ride roughshod over them, then making stern efforts to set them and hold them. Feeling guilty about that, then being reminded that nope, that’s a useless emotion in this context. I am responsible for myself – as are you, my Divas – and trying to be all things to all people creates monsters who linger far beyond Halloween.
Boundary-setting, like much of self-care, can look all sorts of ways. Sometimes, it’s being firmly persistent with medical folks when you believe that an injury or ailment isn’t being taken quite seriously. (While it didn’t quite come to this for me, I was reminded by several good friends that one way to get action is to INSIST that the doctor’s actions [in say, not ordering a test] be documented in your official patient file.) Sometimes, it’s telling those close to you that you’re struggling to maintain your mood and that you might need to step away from things. (Turns out that prednisone mood swings are, at least for me, a definite thing. Sigh.) Sometimes, it’s gathering with friends around a bonfire with a variety of wursts and mustards. Sometimes, it’s letting yourself feel what you’re feeling, even if it’s not the most convenient time and place. Sometimes, it’s a day trip with your dad with no real plan – on those, be sure to listen twice as much as you talk. Sometimes, it’s taking some time to watch an old movie or make soup. Sometimes, it’s working hard to create art; sometimes, it’s working hard to promote your art. (For originals, click here – for the updated Redbubble shop for cards and prints, click here!) Sometimes, it’s saying “yes” and sometimes (quite often), it’s saying “no.”
In Celtic societies, Halloween (Samhain) is treated as a day-and-a-night where the boundary between the land of the living and the Summerlands is particularly thin, permitting cross-overs that can be comforting rather than frightening. That boundary is worth having – in all sorts of areas of our lives. Make yours, my Divas.
And yes – eat the candy.